Like all mega-bands, we get a lot of fan mail. Much of it is of a frank, even raunchy, sexual nature, but a much smaller pile on our desk contains missives such as this one from a Mr. Elton J of Windsor, Berks.
Dear Mysterious Beings,
Your song, “How Can I Leave Her Behind, When She Won’t Leave Mine,” is the best song I have ever heard by anyone anywhere. For a long time I thought it simply couldn’t be improved, but the other day, as I was dropping the kids off at school I realized there was a slight problem. At almost six minutes, it’s pretty long. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem. A song of this calibre I could listen to all day until the sun went down on me and still not get enough. The kids feel the same way and that’s the problem. They won’t get out of the car until it’s finished, and they have been late for school nineteen times as a result. Could you make it a wee bit shorter, please?”
Well, Elton J. of Windsor, Berks., we Mysterious Beings pride ourselves on being responsive to our wonderful fans, and, since you ask so nicely, here it is. Same song minus the last two verses and chorus in a handy fun size four minutes and forty-one seconds pack. Those extra verses are not really necessary for the story anyway.