The Same Sun Shines On Us All

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During a band rehearsal the other day, our normally mild-mannered Afghan drummer, Kit Bashir, seemed to be bashing his kit with excessive vigour. This was remarkable on two counts. Firstly, because we seldom rehearse, feeling that it detracts from the anarchic spontaneity that sets our sound apart, and secondly because we were playing a gentle piano ballad which wasn’t supposed to have any drums anyway. When I asked him what was wrong, he told me he was absolutely furious with the European Union. I asked him why, but he just looked at me with a sullen expression and continued to beat his drums. I sighed. It was clear to me that Kit, along with millions in his adopted homeland was furious with the European Union for no particular reason.

I didn’t have to look far for the cause of Kit’s fury. “You’ve been talking to Gene, haven’t you?” He nodded between two deafening attacks on his high hat.

There are many reasons to consider our keyboard ace, Gene Poole-Skimmings, a complete arse. Anyone who has met him can provide you with a list. Chief among them is his blind devotion to Brexit. It’s hard to imagine a more boneheaded and obnoxious concept than Brexit, and Gene is just the obnoxious bonehead to bend your ear on the subject. A malleable mind like Kit’s is ripe for turning into a cauldron of fury at the notion of Brussels bureaucrats dictating the shape of the bananas brave British heroes can buy at Tesco’s. This, as those who have been following the matter closely will have gathered by now, is the most cogent reason advanced by Farage, Boris and company for leaving the EU.

That’s when it struck me. It’s easy to prove that Brexit makes no sense. The secret of its success is that it doesn’t have to. While Remainers trotted out boring old facts and rational arguments, Leavers waved Union Jacks and invoked the spirit of the Blitz, even though nobody was actually attacking them. All the facts and reason were on the Remainers’ side, but the Leavers had emotion – and look who won.

So…here’s an anthem of sorts for Europe, an attempt to inject emotion into the other side, the one that is not willing to screw up their kids’ futures for the sake of bendy bananas. It’s time to get all emotional about Europe and all the good it has done and continues to do!

And, by the way, those EU mandated bananas were a hoax too, like all the rest.

The last verse is supposed to have young people from various countries singing in their language. I’m just filling in until I find them.

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