New Song – Comfy Troosers

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Before you listen to this masterpiece, I’d just like to say in our defence that it’s only two minutes long.

Fans of The Mysterious Beings will know that they have never been afraid to tackle the serious issues of the day, and it was only a matter of time before we got around to the urgent topic of comfortable trousers.

As we have all had to spend more time at home, much of it has inevitably involved sitting around on our arses, and never has the topic of comfortable trousers assumed such importance in our lives. Time then for a song, which was, of course, written while wearing those very comfy troosers in the illustration.

In both style and language, this song represents a return to our roots for guitarist Dee Sharpe and myself. To the other band members it represents nothing at all as they couldn’t understand much of it.

New Song – Niamh The Brave And Beautiful

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The other day, my daughter Niamh set off for Germany and other foreign lands. Seeing that the thought of her being gone for such a long time had got me down, my old friend Dee Sharpe, the band’s guitarist, reminded me that music is the best therapy in times like this. So I sat down and wrote a song. By the time Dee returned from a beer run, it was finished and, after downing the first of the beers, he picked up his guitar and joined me as we recorded it for her. Then we opened two more beers and raised them to Niamh and her great adventure. Then we had a few more beers to wish her bon voyage. The next thing I remember is Dee’s granny handing me a nice cup of tea where I lay on her couch and telling me she knew just how I felt – not my pounding head but my breaking heart.

New Song – Hey Chuck, Can I Borrow Your Truck?

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The inspiration for our latest song came from my good friend and the band’s fiddle player, Beau Strokes. He turned up at my door the other day, asking to borrow my hedge trimmer. I had to say no, not because Beau is always borrowing things and seldom returns them, but because I happen to know he doesn’t have a hedge. What he does have is an ongoing dispute with his neighbor, Larry. Mountain folk have their own way of resolving disputes and, while I respect that, I had no wish for my hedge trimmer to be used as a weapon. Ironically, the feud began over that habit of Beau’s of borrowing things and generally being a scrounger. After he left, muttering something about how Bubba down the road has a big ass chainsaw, I sat down and wrote this song about how this whole thing started.

New Song – I’m Here

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The other day, the band and I got to talking about all the people we know who are terribly sad for one reason or another. Thinking about it made us sad too, so I wrote this song, which we recorded, maintaining social distancing by each of us being in a different room in guitarist Dee Sharpe’s granny’s house in Broughty Ferry. As I belted out the vocals in Granny Sharpe’s downstairs toilet, I thought about how much better the world would be if we took the time to tell each other this kind of thing sometimes.

Cheapskate Music Video

Even mega-bands like The Mysterious Beings have to watch the pennies these days. We don’t give our social media intern Cher Maposte much of a budget to work with, so, when it comes to making videos, she is thrown back on using free clips from the Internet. Cher owes her position to being the only groupie ever to fall for the dubious charms of our keyboard player, Gene Poole-Skimmings, rather than to any aptitude for hard work, so she can’t be arsed actually finding clips that match our songs. This was a great source of frustration and friction within the band until guitarist Dee Sharpe and I decided to make the best of a bad situation by… well, the song explains it better than I could do here.

The video clips used in the song came from the trending videos at the home page of on the day I made the video.

New Song – The Battle Of Lake Travis

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A tribute to the heroes of Lake Travis, whose flotilla of freedom were all that stood between us and socialism on that fateful Saturday in September 2020. Several boats laden with swashbuckling warriors for freedom went down that day, carrying their precious cargo of sun block and Miller Lite to Davy Jones’ locker. We will not forget you and how you put your lives on the line on the reservoir of doom.

Bandits On The Run perform “Fool To Love Her”

One of our favorite bands, Brooklyn, New York-based Bandits On The Run put that extra time on their hands to good use while quarantining in North Carolina with this living room recording of our song “Fool To Love Her.”

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In their real life, they have far better songs than this, of course! Check out their website here and their YouTube channel here.

Mysterious Beings YouTube Channel

A big thanks to our new social media intern, Cher Maposte, for setting up the Mysterious Beings YouTube channel, viewable at the link below. Please show your support by visiting and hitting the subscribe button.

Cher comes to us from… well, we’re not really sure. We found her in the back of the van behind one of our big-ass speakers after a gig in Russellville, Arkansas in the drunken company of our notoriously lascivious keyboard player, Gene Poole-Skimmings, who had no recollection of how they had got there. Cher claimed that she was, in her own forthright and uninhibited way, interviewing for a job with the band and, owing to her cordial relationship with the CEO of the local branch of the Retreads motor cycle gang, a man of imposing build and persuasive personality, was confident of being hired, which she was.

Now with even less music

Like all mega-bands, we get a lot of fan mail. Much of it is of a frank, even raunchy, sexual nature, but a much smaller pile on our desk contains missives such as this one from a Mr. Elton J of Windsor, Berks.

Dear Mysterious Beings,

Your song, “How Can I Leave Her Behind, When She Won’t Leave Mine,” is the best song I have ever heard by anyone anywhere. For a long time I thought it simply couldn’t be improved, but the other day, as I was dropping the kids off at school I realized there was a slight problem. At almost six minutes, it’s pretty long. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem. A song of this calibre I could listen to all day until the sun went down on me and still not get enough. The kids feel the same way and that’s the problem. They won’t get out of the car until it’s finished, and they have been late for school nineteen times as a result. Could you make it a wee bit shorter, please?”


Elton J.

Well, Elton J. of Windsor, Berks., we Mysterious Beings pride ourselves on being responsive to our wonderful fans, and, since you ask so nicely, here it is. Same song minus the last two verses and chorus in a handy fun size four minutes and forty-one seconds pack. Those extra verses are not really necessary for the story anyway.

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