The Mysterious Beings music is published on the Terrier label, managed by Phat Eric. Keen students of band history will remember him as our original drummer, before we abandoned him at the side of the M8 motorway outside Glasgow in favour of our current priest of percussion, Kit Bashir. In hindsight, it was a foolish move. Eric tracked us down and he was not happy. There was no way we were letting him back in the band. He takes up too much room in the van and is prone to flatulence, but he’s basically a nice guy and we felt sorry for him. The Terrier label was our guitarist Dee Sharpe’s idea as a way of making him still feel part of the gang.

There is no actual work to do, but we gave him a desk in the shed at the bottom of Dee’s granny’s garden in Broughty Ferry. Every so often he sits there or in the cafeteria at his mum’s work and “scouts for talent” by watching YouTube videos and leaving comments offering to sign people. If he contacts you it’s probably best to pretend you didn’t see his comment unless you have a lot of time on your hands, in which case shoot him a message or give him a call, although he comes from a village in Aberdeenshire, so you might not understand what he’s saying and end up signed to the label without realizing it. If this happens, don’t worry. It won’t make any noticeable difference to your career.

Eric has asked us to make it clear that he is Phat Eric, not Fat Eric. In the interests of full disclosure, he is of imposing build and his name is Eric.